


Stupid Cupid

by eccentrick



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Lance sees it all, M/M, except when it has to do with him, non-binary Pidge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 07:30:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8047750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eccentrick/pseuds/eccentrick
Summary: Lance is always the best. At least, he thinks he is until Keith bests him. Still, there's one thing Keith can't beat him at: playing Cupid for his best friend and the man of everyone's dreams.He would just have to ignore his own feelings all the while.





	Stupid Cupid

**Author's Note:**

  * For [indigostardust](https://archiveofourown.org/users/indigostardust/gifts).



> Hi! My first fic for the Voltron fandom, I hope you all enjoy and I do the characters justice.
> 
> I'd like to thank Jazz, my bro, my beta...my brota, for this fic. Without her, this wouldn't have happened. She actually gave me the prompt and I made it my own with her help (I wanted to make it canon and angsty as well, but she stopped me which I'm glad for lolol).
> 
> { **Please do not create a Goodreads profile for this fic without permission. Thank you.** }

Lance wasn't a masochist, he swears, he's just a really Good Guy. That's all. Yup. There's nothing wrong with getting your rival -- the person you might, maybe, kinda be in love with -- together with the guy you have looked up too since forever and recently begun lusting after.

Nothing could ever go wrong with _that_ equation.

Now, listen. Lance might not be the brightest star in the galaxy, but he could see it, the tension between Keith and Shiro. If it were anyone else (alternative meaning being Lance, because they were none too gentle with him like they were with those two) dancing around a potential significant something, the others wouldn't be so nice about it nor keep silent. Like they were doing now.

 _Thanks guys,_ Lance thought.

So, since everyone else seemed amused watching them awkwardly just brush past each other (Pidge), the brunet brought it upon himself to make those two see the light. Even if he has to knock their heads together, he was going to make sure the idiots faced each other. And maybe battled it out? Like, romantically? That seemed like something Keith would do, a type of foreplay. . .Maybe Lance was getting off track.

He needed to think of a plan and quick. He couldn't really deal with all the sexual tension in the air, not to mention how hard it was to concentrate when you sit in front of Keith but behind Shiro, the feeling of Keith's gaze on the back of his head the whole lecture. Humanities was his least favorite class to say the least.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Speak of the devil and he shall appear, his mother always said.

"Who knows if he's thinking at all," Pidge answered Keith's questions themself, snickering, but never looked away from their laptop.

"Hey! It's way too early for your sass, or should I say, your slaughter!" Lance quipped, settling down into his seat as Shiro handed him his coffee. Dark roast, with boat loads of creamer to cover up the bitter brew. What can Lance say, he loves the caffeine it pumps into his veins, not the taste.

"Now, guys, don't fight so early in the morning," Shiro amended, rubbing between his eyes.

 Mister Mom looked like he'd been through the ringer, or at the very least, a sleepless night. Lance wondered why as he side-eyed Keith, who was now sitting begrudgingly next to him. He squinted in the mullet's direction until he noticed Keith shifting uncomfortably.

Okay, so, he doesn't have the after glow. Which means the reason Shiro is bone tired is not that he got the best lay and didn't sleep for hours into the early morning. Meaning Lance's plans, or lack thereof, haven't changed. Fundamentally. 

* * *

 

After their morning study sessions ("We should keep the same schedule when not in class," Shiro says. "It trains your body," which is a boldfaced lie because, look, Lance's body _is not_  trained, look at the bags under his eyes!) 

Lance gets one of the brightest ideas on the current situation. In a bag of duds, the tall, dark and beautiful Lance picked the gem.

He'd make Shiro jealous! Or, maybe Keith! One of those two, whichever worked first.

So you're probably think, _Lance, that doesn't sound like a very thought out plan._ And it isn't. But sometimes the more you wing it the more you learn. And technically, Lance was a _scientist_ , so he'd put his barely there hypothesis to the ultimate test. Which is Keith.

Or Shiro. He hasn't decided yet.

Well, maybe he had. Shiro wasn't one to be jealous, at least that wasn't what he came off as. Keith was the hot-headed one, the one who had little patience and impulse control. It would be the easiest to rile him up, put an arm around Shiro's shoulders (if he could reach), maybe some _sweaty_  solo sparring sessions.

That'll shimmy his timbers -- wait, bad analogy.

 

* * *

Lance would be smart about this. Cool, suave. All the things the brunet was decisively _not_. And it's hard to keep your bravado on when you start to sweat bullets around your target.

Shiro was just so _hot._  How was that even allowed?

There were a few things you need to know when it comes to Shiro. He's almost perfect. As in, even his imperfections are perfect. He cared about his friends, sometimes a little too protective, but like, if you got in a fight, Lance would 10/10 recommend to have Shiro on your side. Case closed. 

Now, Lance _know s_ he's a nice, tall, cool drink of water. He knows how to work it, flaunt it, make everybody want it except for the great Shirogane Takashi because one doesn't just bend the man who revives every dead daddy kink to their will. 

So just how is Lance going to make Keith jealous over Shiro who (if this was perfect world and his plan went perfectly) would be flirting back at Lance? 

Well, his first idea was immediately shot down by Hunk. ("Uh, if you do that, Shiro will dick punch you for that. And Shiro, like, never does that.") 

His second idea had great modifications by Pidge, and Lance thought it was the worst plan ever because what kind of 'modification' is "just fucking talk to him like normal, Lance, but touch his arm and smile a lot." 

Lance shook out his arms, (attempted to) crack his neck, and put on the best seductive smirk he had. He even added a bit of lip balm for the occasion. When he swiped his hair in an effort to make it look both messy and neat. Lance felt a pair of violet eyes heat up, and before he knew it, the snark appeared. 

"People are going to think you're dumber than they thought if you keep doing your The Rock impression in public." 

Ah, Keith, ever the honest one. And this surprising quality was why Keith was the inevitable recipient of Lance's plan once he got his feet to move, because, really, how do you make someone as adorable (dense) as Shiro jealous? 

"Keith, we need to watch my entire action collection again because 1) The Rock doesn't have hair and 2) The Rock is a sweetheart. Totally the opposite of my embodiment of sin." Lance eyed the classroom doorway, the class Shiro was in, quickly scanning if the Hottie with a Body had appeared.

Keith's faced morphed into an expression he has never seen before (most likely disgust, but hey, who was counting) before turning heel down the hall. The very _short_ hall, so he came upon a dead end in five seconds flat and had to turn around and stomped past Lance a second time. His hands, adorned with those emo gloves, clenched into fists. Comical, really. 

He glanced back at the classroom door, the last person out shutting it behind them. No Shiro. Well, fuck. Lance would catch him next time. 

You'd never know by Lance's thoughts and demeanor that he was, in fact, hopelessly in love with the mullet. Which, case in point, isn't what the brunet was aiming for. They don't call unrequited love... well, _unrequited_  for nothing.

So all he could do with his handsome self was to make sure that his little short friend was happy with someone he _did_  like in return. And he was positive Shiro returned Keith's gayness.

Lance just hoped he wasn't setting himself up for failure. 

* * *

This just in: he was setting himself up for failure.

Lance, being the genius he is, made the mistake of visiting Shiro right after he went to the gym. How, you ask, did he know that?

Shiro was freshly out of the shower, hair dripping wet as his shirt stuck to his chest -- his very _well-built_  chest because did Lance mention he went to the gym?! 

Cue awkward boner.

If that wasn't embarrassing enough, Shiro bent down to flash his prosthetic hand in front of Lance's face, pulling the brunet out of his daze. Or, more accurately, his lust driven delusion.

Pulling himself together, he leaned against Shiro's dorm door, folding his arms against his chest and nonchalantly posing, though he was sure it looked more like he was in physical pain more than anything else.

_Why was he here again?! What was stopping him from fleeing the scene of his own homicide, death by Shiro's glistening abs?!_

"Uh, everything all right Lance?" Shiro asked, concerned. He was concerned about him, Lance, space Lance!

"Hunky-dory," he smoldered, smirked. Grimaced. One of the three.

"If you need anything, just tell me, okay?"

What was Lance supposed to say? _That damp shirt would look better on Keith's bedroom floor?_

He went with something more normal, mundane. Subtle. "Uh, I didn't quite get the material from the study session. Seriously, Whitey, I think it's because those said study sessions are too early! They're at, like, the crack of dawn!"

Shiro sighed, unsticking the shirt from his skin modestly, so Lance no longer had a front row seat to the show. "This nickname again? Yes, Shiro means white in Japanese, but, again, please don't translate it. And, I think you came here for something else. Are you sure nothing else is bothering you?"

"You might have to explain it to me again," Lance said, trying his best at flirting and throwing Pidge's advice out the window. This always seemed to work on comics and manga, and that was basically all Lance had to go off of (pretty lame, he knows, but you gotta use every resource). And what did that little twerp Pidge know about romance?

"Don't act stupid, Lance. I know you're not."

Okay, was this just him, or was Shiro implying he was smart?! Really, this was a day to put in the history books.

"I dunno about that..." he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck in faux embarrassment, because his cheeks were totally _not_  red, nope.

"Anyway, I came here for a reason, besides giving you a chance to glimpse my handsome face," the brunet began, watching as Shiro peeled off the shirt he was currently wearing in favor of a looser one. He was sad to see the rippling outlines go, but it was a joy to see the process.

Shiro chuckled, like, really, he _chuckled_. Every time Lance reads that in a book, he rolls his eyes, because no one _really_  chuckles, not naturally. But ho boy, Shiro was proving him wrong about what the limitations of sexiness can be once again. With the bigger male, it seemed infinite.

"I'll do whatever I can to help, lay it on me." Shiro said it as though it was just another day being a normal citizen, like he didn't help the others as a surrogate father, or in some cases, brother. 

He was neither to Lance, because, well, he didn't particularly have a daddy kink no matter how much he might refer to it, and it would be weird lusting after your brother. Lance wasn't sure about Keith, but who knows what that kid was into.

Lying through his teeth, Lance laid it on thick. "I've noticed Keith withdrawing more lately. I mean, he's always had the 'lonely loner who likes to be alone' vibe, but he hasn't been getting as offended by my jabs, and honestly? That's just too worrying."

Most of that was a lie, but one held true. Keith was arguing back less often, and when he did, it had less bite than usual. As though he could only barely bring himself to insult Lance.

What, was he not worth it anymore? Was he ever in the first place?

Now, he doesn't wanna jump the gun and look like an ass, and the best way to handle it really did spell out Shiro, the leader of their little ragtag group. If anyone could pry the truth out of Keith's clammy angsty hands, it was the Dad. Or in Keith's case, the Daddy™.

And well, he needed to somehow set up more alone time together for them.  

Shiro's shoulders lost their tension. "Maybe he doesn't think your insults are good enough anymore."

Gasping, Lance covered his heart with his hand. "I am _appalled_  that you would say such a thing. I came out here to do a good deed, and this is how the universe repays me? Scandalous."

Shiro put his attention on Lance as he shook his head, a smile carved out of what seemed to be stone. It took so much to make the little ball (well, big) of anxiety to smile. And he'd done it. That in general made this whole thing worth it, even if he was setting up the two people he liked together. Without him in the equation at all.

Lance was just that kinda guy. 

* * *

After some chatter, Shiro fell for his ruse, hook, line, and sinker. Now, all he needed to do was get Keith on board.

Easier said than done, that's for damn sure.

In general, Keith was a rather stubborn, aloof person. However, one thing Lance learned living in a big family was how to read people, especially someone his age or younger. The mullet didn't always try to be that way, and most of the time, he was sorry as soon as sharp words left his mouth. But with stubbornness comes pride. Keith never apologized nor attempted to, no matter the situation.

There was one thing Lance couldn't decipher. Why was Keith all of a sudden not being a total ass to him? It's almost as though he puts a conscious effort into it, holding his tongue on many an occasion. What was with this new and approved Keith?

"Approved"?

They still go back and forth before class, and talk shit when they pass each other in the hall, but it didn't have the same heat. Or maybe a different kind, more like an intensity? 

What the hell did Lance do this time?

It was safe to say that the lanky male was confuzzled at the least.

In that regard, he could make himself feel a bit better about fibbing to Shiro, because to Lance, there was something wrong. Abnormal. Strange. He could come up with synonyms all day long, but you get the idea.

Phase One was complete, now onto Phase Two. 

* * *

 

Lance wasn't honestly sure what made him realize he had feelings for the emo nerdlord named Keith. Sure, he was pretty, with delicate features, and he sounded sexy when he swore in what Lance thought was Korean.

Those things put together were attractive, but nothing special to make Lance fall for someone.

He'd known he was bisexual when he got in the upper levels of middle school, where people started dating and sex talk became a thing. He was a late bloomer of sorts, but he'd always had crushes on girls. Hell, he hit on most anything that moved by then, and he admits, pretty badly.

Like most sexual awakening stories, there is someone special that really did it for him.

This kid, he had a ridiculous name, something no one could really recall on the spot, so everyone just called him Phoenix. He was shy, but when he warmed up, Phoenix joked that he was from a family of hippies that named all their children things that were impossible to pronounce.

To make a long story short, Lance realized his type of guy; quiet at first and then more outgoing as you get to know them. Sweet, someone who laughs at his sick puns, even if they're horrible.

So he had no fucking idea how he was in love with _Keith_ , let alone this infatuation with Shiro. Maybe his types weren't in such a tiny box as he once thought. He wasn't a smol bisexual anymore, he was in the major leagues. If there were a competition on how gay someone can be. Which, if you've ever been on tumblr, there was.

_Think gay thoughts, Lance. Calm down._

He was usually a pretty laid back guy, ya know. Not now, though, not when he was gonna have to lie straight to Keith's face to get this ball rolling, for it to build up enough speed to break the wall between Keith and Shiro. That was that.

He thought of all his crushes, cartoon (aka anime because Lance was ashamed) or not, _Toya, Kaworu... Bishamon, LuLu Bell... dammit, none of this was working. Why wasn't it working?!_

"Are you okay? You're staring into space like an idiot. I half expected you to start drooling." Keith interrupted his train of thought, which was how to _not_ think about said rude guy and Shiro. He just had to ruin everything, didn't he?

"What is going on, why does everyone always feel the need to drag me? Will I ever get a moment of peace? I thought you were trying to be more civil, and this is what I get!"

Something surprising happened. Keith looked away, almost bashfully (only with a bit more attitude), and shrugged his shoulders as he crossed his arms, switching foot to foot.

"I mean, if you want me to..." he said.

"What did you do, drop one of my manga in the toilet? Because I know you've been reading them. Blame Pidge all you want, I ain't gonna believe you. These eyes see the truth."

"As if I'd read something from  _your_  collection, they're all basically the same story with different characters," Keith sniffed, looking annoyed, but not like he was about to blow his top. 

It was unsettling, like the calm before the storm. 

Lance had to keep cool, loosey goosey, not get nervous He worried that his banter was on the level of a sixth grader. (Hunk loooved to make that comment, usually under the influence of Pidge, since they were both geniuses in their own right and _enjoyed making Lance suffer._  Especially Pidge, that non-gender conforming asshole.)

"So you _have_ been reading them!" He declared, electing to ignore anything else Keith might've said.

Keith replied. "Sorry, I guess."

Lance shook his head, gripping Keith's shoulders as he unconsciously leaned in closer. "Who are you, and what have you done with my grumpy, frumpy, Keith? Are you an alien? From outer space? Tell me, what type of life is out there? Is it really not gay if it's in space?"

The black haired male shrugged off his hands, leaning away, face flushed with anger.

"Frumpy?"

Lance raised his hands up high in the air, letting gravity pull them down to slap against his sides.

 "Yup, definitely Keith."

* * *

The conversation didn't go exactly as planned, but when did anything in Lance's life go easy?

Lance is nothing if not straightforward, and he's not much for being subtle. He'd been keeping his mouth shut for _months_  while they pined away.

Keith would sit by him on the worse days, across from the object of his affection. He'd get all shifty, glancing back and forth between the both of them, like he was checking to see if anyone else saw the googly eyes. They did. They _all_ did. It was practically painful, more so for Lance.

But Lance wasn't gonna mope about it, or get angry, because, honestly, he saw why Keith would want Shiro. Despite his trauma, from serving in the military right after high school (which explained why he was in their year and twenty-five), he was positive and always tried to help those around him. If anyone could break through Keith's titanic shell, it would be the former soldier.

The conversation didn't go as planned, but it wasn't over yet.

"So, you going to mention why you were standing in the middle of the hall, drooling?"

By the time Keith spoke, they were sitting in the barren mess hall, too early for any others to make their way. Keith chose to sit on the edge of a table, not committing to the conversation fully, looking like he could walk away and escape should Lance say anything. He tried not to take offense. Meanwhile, Lance sat backwards in one of those hard chairs that numbed your ass almost as soon as you sat on it.

"I did not drool! I was thinking!"

Keith snorted, like an aborted laugh, "Did your two brain cells rub together too quickly?"

The brunet set his forearms on the top of the chair, resting his chin on them as he pouted. "Why am I always on the defense lately?"

The other boy ignored him, like always. Really, why did Lance get no respect?

"So, what were you really thinking about, it must have been pretty... provoking."

Now, Lance wants to say that what came next was not his fault. It was a brain freeze, lack of judgment, or just plain word vomit. But the first thing out of Lance's mouth was: "You."

Keith paused, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. Lance rushed ahead before he could say anything, stumbling. "I mean, you and Shiro, um, yeah, you, Shiro, and your hopelessness. Ahhh, haha. Ha. Ha."

"What the hell do you mean?!"

"Ya know, nothing. Just lil ol' me noticing things... not being completely dense to every situation..."

Keith huffed, uncrossing to recross his arms. "Are you insinuating something, Lance? That you should tell me?"

"Nope," Lance said, making sure to exaggerate the 'p' to get on Keith's nerves. Which he really shouldn't do, because when the mullet realizes his plan, he won't be happy.

"So, we all know you have the hots for Team Dad, except for, well, Team Dad-" Keith opened his mouth as though to interrupt. "Ah, ah, ah, let me finish, you dork. So, I've taken it upon myself to get you two together-"

"You. Did. _What?!_ " There was the outburst. Lance didn't even flinch, prepared.

"Look, buddy, I'm trying to be a nice person here and you're making it _really, really_ difficult. Why must the universe test me?" Lance pretended to crack his neck, on both sides, grinning in confidence. He even added the knuckles-to-chin-tilt effect.

"You're lucky I'm so nice. By the end of this month, I'll get you your man." 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all liked it! If you did, maybe comment or give kudos, so I'll be motivated!
> 
> I'm anime trash, I had to add references...I tried mostly older ones tho lol
> 
> Also, why do I like using italics so much...when posting, it's always a pain in the ass but I always do it anyway?


End file.
